The Pope to be guest judge on the X Factor

15 Sep
X Factor Pop

Pope Idol - Pope Benedict XVI with the X Factor judges

POPE Benedict XVI is to be the latest guest judge on the X Factor, the Vatican has confirmed. The pontiff will take time out of his busy schedule during his visit to Britain this weekend to be the latest celebrity to fill in for Dannii Minogue, who is on maternity leave.

A Vatican spokesman said: “His excellency is delighted to be appearing as a guest judge on the X Factor. He believes that the programme promotes the key Catholic values of hope, compassion, charity and the exploitation of children.”

It is understood that Simon Cowell met the Pope at the Vatican during a recent trip to Rome when they discussed the possibility of the X Factor appearance. Cowell’s spokesperson, Sinitta, said the music mogul and the Pope had got on very well and found that they have a lot in common – both have millions of followers hanging on their every word, and that both are responsible for putting groups of young men in the care of old homosexual Irish men.

As well as being on the judging panel, the Pope will also say mass, although it is not yet known whether he will chant live or whether pre-recorded vocals will be used.

Critics have dismissed the appearance as an attempt to boost the Catholic Church’s image and to generate interest in the papal visit among a largely apathetic British public.

Kevin Borne from the National Atheist Society said: “The Catholic Church in England hopes that the Pope’s appearance on the X Factor this weekend will bring some much needed positive PR both to the papal visit and to the Church in general. They hope that if he comes across well on the show and maybe cries a bit when a fat old she-troll sings quite well, the public will forget he was responsible for covering up the Church’s endemic child abuse in the nineties and that he continues to fuel the spread of HIV in Africa by prohibiting condom use.”

“Sort of like how the British public have forgotten that Cheryl Cole beat up and racially abused a black toilet attendant over a lollypop.”

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