Gossip chaos as Katie Price goes on strike

5 Oct
Katie Price The Daily Star Jordan

The Katie Price strike meant it was a slow news day for The Daily Star

BRITAIN has been plunged into gossip chaos as Katie Price stages a seven-day strike by keeping the tedious details of her meaningless life and her grubby orange face out of newspapers and magazines.

The action, a protest over chancellor George Osborne’s proposed cosmetic surgery tax, left today’s editions of several tabloid newspapers and celebrity gossip magazines with empty pages as the model kept her slug lips shut and refused to do any interviews or venture out of the house.

There were chaotic scenes in newsagents across the country this morning as women manically thumbed through the pages of any red-top or glossy magazine they could get their hands on, searching for the slightest piece of Katie Price related information.

Receptionist Hayley Sanders from Romford said: “I went to the newsagent this morning on my way to work to get my daily fix of Pricey gossip, but couldn’t find nothing in any of the papers or magazines. I really need to know whether she still misses Pete today, and what part of her butchered sex corpse she is going to have more surgery on next.”

The strike also meant that last night ITV2 could not air the leathery cum sack’s fly on the wall series Katie Price: Upskirt and Personal which accounts for 80% of the channel’s programming. Repeats of Midsomer Murders and were shown instead.

Newspapers, magazines and ITV are estimated to have lost over £2 million in revenue as a direct result of Price’s strike action so far, with the figure expected to rise sharply over the coming days, especially if the strike extends over the weekend as planned.

Culture secretary Jeremy Hunt attacked the strike, accusing Price of holding the public to ransom: “For council estate dwelling scum, details of Katie Price’s life is the only thing that makes their miserable existences bearable. If she keeps this up I fear that mass civil unrest will be inevitable.

“If those obese proles could be bothered to get up of their DFS sofa and cause any kind of unrest, that is.”

Price has, however, been operating a minimum gossip service on Twitter, tweeting one comment per day, such as this morning’s:

“Thinking about getting anal bleaching. No one likes a dark ring.”

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