YOUR children will spend this Christmas locked in their bedrooms beating away at their white rods with Michael Jackson, Seleb Spy can exclusively reveal.
The must-have toy topping children’s Christmas lists this year is the new video game Michael Jackson: The Experience for the Nintendo Wii.
In the game, players learn the deceased King of Pop’s dance-routines, and sing along to his greatest hits such as You Rock my World and This is It in the comfort of their own homes.
However, parents have raised concerns that the game is an attempt by Jackson to abuse their children from beyond the grave using the Nintendo Wii console as a paedophilic electronic Ouija board.
Geraldine Clarke, a mother of two from Essex said: “When Michael Jackson died, I, like parents all over the world, breathed a sigh of relief. ‘Finally,’ I thought, ‘my children are safe.’
“Now this game has gone on sale, and my kids are hassling me to buy it for them for Christmas.
“As I told our 44-year old male nanny Malcolm, I won’t put my children in danger in that way.”
Another concerned parent, Sally Anderson from Hull said: “When Michael Jackson was alive, I was constantly concerned that at any moment he could climb through my children’s bedroom window and abuse them.
“Despite the fact he lived thousands of miles away, and that my children are disgustingly ugly, obese sacks of shit that no one would touch even if they ran through a paedophile convention stark bollock naked.”
Michael Jackson: The Experience also features a number of mini-games, including Jammin’ in the Bed in which players get into bed together and vigorously shake their Wii sticks while Jackson gently serenades them onscreen. The faster the players shake their Wii sticks, the more ‘Jesus Juice’ points Jackson awards them.
The game’s developer Ubisoft has sought to allay parents’ concerns and issued a statement in which a spokesperson said:
“We have attempted to make Michael Jackson: The Experience as realistic a reflection of being with the King of Pop as possible. However we have removed certain aspects of the real Michael Jackson ‘experience’ from the game.
“Namely, the kiddy-fiddling.”
Ubisoft also rejected criticism that developing a video game based on someone who was probably a paedophile is inappropriate.
“We do not feel that it is inappropriate to produce a video game featuring an alleged paedophile.
After all, Call of Duty: Gary Glitter’s Vietnam Adventure on the XBox 360 was a roaring success.”