Women offer to swap their children for Take That tickets

3 Nov

Take That Prince CharlesTHOUSANDS of women have flooded the Internet with advertisements offering to swap their children for Take That concert tickets, after they sold out in a matter of hours.

Tickets for Take That’s Progress tour, which will see the band reunited on stage with Robbie Williams for the first time in 16 years, went on sale at 9am on Friday morning causing the websites of official agencies including Ticketmaster and See Tickets to buckle under the strain of the excessive demand.

James Grey, CEO of Ticketmaster said: “It wasn’t actually the huge number of people trying to access our website that caused it to crash.

“It was the fact that it was hundreds of thousands of women trying to access the site at the same time, and as we all know, women don’t know how to use computers. You know like how they always double-click on links on websites, thinking it’s the same as folders and files in Windows. That’s basically what broke our site.”

Irate fans blasted the ticket agencies for the meltdown, posting furious comments online.

One post on the official Take That forums from investment banker Sharon Lawson, 30, said: “Oh my god, Mark Owen is so lush, he so fancied me and wanted to marry me when I met him on Live & Kicking. It’s well unfair I can’t get tickets for the concerts. I don’t want my stupid daughter anyways she’s well boring. I’d so swap her for a ticket.”

Thousands of thirtysomething women are now going to extraordinary lengths to get their hands on the coveted tickets, inundating websites such as Gumtree, eBay and Craigslist offering their own children in exchange.

One advert on Gumtree posted by Pam Davidson from Brighton reads: “WANTED: Take That ticket(s) in exchange for male child, 8 years old, one previous owner, full vaccinated.”

Other women were instead offering their own bodies in exchange for tickets. An advert on Craigslist reads: “Take That tickets wanted in exchange for hot sex with attractive lady, 33.

“Or my sexy 6 year-old daughter.”

We contacted the Take That forums’ administrator, self-confessed superfan Davina Simpson from Durham, and asked why women were taking such drastic action to get their hands on tickets.

“When I was 12 and in love with Take That, I used to fantasise about snogging them and that made my tuppence tingle in a way I didn’t understand.” She said. “Whereas now I just want Jason Orange to do all kinds of despicable things to me.

“Like he did to Lulu.”

The 34 year-old bus driver said she wouldn’t go as far as swapping her own children.

“Of course I wouldn’t swap my kids for tickets.

“They’re ginger, no one would want them.”

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