Cilla Black launches fag hag matchmaking service

6 Dec

Cilla Black Paul O'Grady Fag HagsTELEVISION presenter and singer Cilla Black has launched a new matchmaking website where homosexual men can find sassy female friends.

http://www.Fags4Hags.co.uk is a groundbreaking online service that helps gay men find that special woman who will follow them around, suffer their capricious behaviour and bear the brunt of their melodramatic mood swings.

Our Cilla, who is the hag of celebrity fags Paul O’Grady, Dale Winton and Cliff Richard, came up with the idea for the website after hearing a gay acquaintance complain that no matter how hard he tried he couldn’t find a female friend who would put up his bitchiness and generally selfish behaviour.

She said: “Every gay man needs a loyal female friend. A fag and his hag go together like yin and yang. Or Bacardi and Coke.

“Diet Coke, my darling” added Dale Winton.

The website also features articles and advice for women on the art of fag haggery, including how to hide your disgust when your gay friend mentions obscene acts like rimming, and a beginner’s guide to the gay language.

Fierce.

Although the site only launched a week ago, hundreds of eager fags and wannabe hags have already signed up.

Prospective hag Sally Anderson, 32, from London said: “I have a great job, a lovely boyfriend, and a busy and varied social life. But I still feel that something is missing.

“I have a hole in my life that needs filling, and that hole is the shape of a slightly overweight camp man who likes musical theatre and making deliciously catty comments.”

Hairdresser Brian MacIntosh from Hull said: “I have lots of female friends but I find they all have too much going on in their own lives to devote enough attention to me.

“I need a girlfriend who I can text a photo of myself in my latest outfit at any time of the day or night asking how I look, and get a response saying ‘Fabulous, darling!’ within 5 minutes.”

Black is optimistic that the website’s popularity will grow considerably in the coming months.

She said: “I’m really excited about the launch of Fags4Hags.co.uk. We’ve got a lorra lorra fags, and a lorra lorra hags.

“So I’d say to any fags or potential hags out there, come and give it a try, you might just be surprised what you find.

“And life is full, full of surprises. It’s surprising how dreams come true.”

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