A record 19 million people didn’t enjoy watching the X Factor final

15 Dec
Watching Paint Dry X Factor 2010 Results Matt Cardle Seleb Spy selebspy.com

Watching paint dry. More interesting than the X Factor final.

SUNDAY’S X Factor final broke the record for the number of viewers watching but not enjoying a television programme.

After enduring 16 weeks of tears, tantrums, fighting, outrageous costumes, bingo wings, prostitute teenagers, prostitute grannies, deportations, voting scandals, and even a bit of singing, an estimated 19 million people tuned in on Sunday to see an unemployed painter-decorator crowned champion, over a Top Shop mannequin and quintet of schoolboys with ADHD.

The Broadcasters Audience Research Board, who monitor television viewing figures, have revealed that only around 10,000 viewers, concentrated in the East Essex area, actually enjoyed watching the show and were not left feeling underwhelmed by the whole experience.

The previous record holder for most-watched-least-enjoyed broadcast was the funeral of Princess Diana in 1997 with an audience of over 32 million people, of which only 49% thoroughly enjoyed watching it.

Underwhelmed X Factor viewer Sally Anderson from London said:

“I watched every show and voted for Matt to win, so was pleased when he did. But still, the whole thing was incredibly dull and a complete waste of my life.

“Was it really necessary to subject us to Robbie Williams’ manic gurning and knobbish stage presence no less than three times?”

Viewers were left further frustrated when the full weekly voting figures were released following the final, revealing that Matt Cardle had received the most votes by a considerable margin every week, meaning the whole thing had been a complete waste of time.

Geoffrey Clark from Hull wrote on the Daily News forums:

“By the third live show it was clear from the voting figures that Matt was going to win.

“The producers could have just crowned him the winner then and filled the remaining Saturday and Sunday slots with repeats of Midsomer Murders and spared us the misery of Elton John and Beatles weeks.

Many viewers were left disappointed by the result itself and took to Twitter and Facebook to vent their anger.

Irate One Direction fan Jamelia Hodge from Berkshire wrote on the X Factor Facebook page:

“OMG so unfair 1D didnt win! They are so the best singers and cutest guys ever and watching them and listening to them sing gives me a fizzy fanny and if you say they arent then u are just jelous and i know they can sing cos they are all my cousins X Factor is so gay.


X Factor winner Matt Cardle’s debut single meanwhile looks set to top the charts this Sunday.

The song – a cover of Scottish band Biffy Clyro’s Many of Horror, renamed When We Collide because the type of people who buy X Factor winners’ songs are unable to handle a song whose title does not appear in the chorus – is being challenged by a group of musicians who have recorded an anti-X Factor protest song consisting of 4 minutes of Pete Doherty farting into a bucket.

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