Jay-Z attempts to return Cher Lloyd to Primark

1 Jan

Cher Lloyd, Jaz-Z, X Factor, Seleb Spy 2011JAY-Z has attempted to return X Factor contestant Cher Lloyd to Primark after admitting he had been expecting the legendary diva Cher.

The music industry was left shocked when the US hip hop star announced he had acquired 32 year-old recovering crystal meth addict Cher Lloyd this week.

Since the X Factor concluded in December rumours had been circulating that Black Eyed Peas frontman Will.i.am was interested in signing the unstable contestant.

Sally Anderson, entertainment editor of the Financial Times told Seleb Spy:

“Will.i.am is in the market for a pram-faced wench to replace Fergie as she is getting on a bit, and is frankly quite off-putting to watch.

“After meeting Cher on the X Factor he immediately knew she would be perfect for the job of a marginally attractive frontwoman with questionable vocal abilities.”

However a spokesperson from Jay-Z’s record label Roc Nation confirmed  today that the New York-based rapper believed it was 64 year-old pop legend Cher on offer and not a malnourished street urchin from the Midlands.

He said: “Jay had heard talk of Will.i.am signing Cher and assumed it was the Cher.

“You know, ‘Do you belieeeeeeeeve in life after luuuuurv.’

“He did think it was a bit of a bargain and hadn’t heard of this ‘Primark’ record label before, but sent a representative over to England anyway to make the purchase before Will got in there first.”

It is understood that Jay-Z has since tried to return Lloyd to the Worcester branch of Primark explaining the mix-up. However staff have refused to accept the return claiming Lloyd is damaged goods.

Manager of Primark Worcester Georgina Clank told Seleb Spy: “We’ve seen it all; people trying to return ripped dresses, soiled underwear, broken shoes.

“And mentally fucked-up wannabe ghetto princesses.

“There is a Sue Ryder Care shop down the road if Mr Z would like to dispose of Miss Lloyd.

“They are always willing to take any old unwanted crap.”

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