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Paul the psychic octopus dies while being subjected to X Factor performances

27 Oct
Paul the psychic Octopus

Paul the psychic octopus moments before his death

Paul the psychic Octopus has died while being forced to watch the X Factor finalists’ performances from last Saturday’s live show, Seleb Spy can exclusively reveal.

The tentacled sage gained worldwide fame after he predicted the winners of all of Germany’s World Cup matches, and then the victors in the final, by selecting one of two boxes containing the competing team’s flags.

Stefan Porwoll, the manager of the Oberhausen Sea Life Centre in Germany confirmed that the psychic cephalopod had been filming a segment for ITV2’s the Xtra Factor in which he would be played all of last Saturday’s live performances and then would predict the winner by choosing one of  twelve boxes each containing the picture of one of the X Factor contestants.

However relatively early on during the gruelling two-hour show the octopus’s keepers noticed the animal was acting erratically, in a way they had never seen before.

One of Paul’s keepers told Seleb Spy: “Paul started showing signs of distress during Belle Amie, he sprayed his ink during One Direction, defecated during Cher Lloyd, and by the time Katie Waissel had finished he was already floating at the top of his tank.”

Simon Cowell offered his condolences to Oberhausen Sea Life Centre, saying: “My thoughts are potentially with the staff at the Sea Life Centre during this difficult time. Having said that, the octopus’s death was of course in no way related to the X Factor performances.

“Wouldn’t ‘Octopus’ be a great name for a slutty eight-piece girlband on the X Factor? That’s an idea for next year.”

Paul’s body has been purchased by a local Spanish restaurant to be used in paella.

Louis Walsh: “I love Belle Amie”

13 Oct

Louis Walsh seen leaving the Mayfair Hotel with a friend who is also a fan of Belle Amie.

X FACTOR judge Louis Walsh is obsessed with Belle Amie, Seleb Spy can exclusively reveal.

The 58 year-old Irishman is said to spend hours every day watching videos of the X Factor girl band Belle Amie on the Internet, according to sources at ITV.

One production assistant on the X Factor said: “Just the other day filming was due to begin and all the other judges were on set, except for Louis. He eventually showed up and when I asked why he was late he said he’d been watching Belle Amie online.

“He was slightly red in the face and sweaty.”

Fellow X Factor judge Dannii Minogue revealed: “I asked Louis after Saturday’s show what he thought about Belle Amie and he said he thought they were ‘really sexy’ , ‘right up his street’ and ‘Prague’s finest’. Not really sure what he meant by that – Their performance was a bit shit really.”

Speaking exclusively to Seleb Spy, Louis said: “I really do love Belle Amie, I watch their videos every day online.”

However when asked whether he thought Belle Amie would be the next big British girl band he became confused and only responded: “….Girl band?”

Close friend and former X Factor judge Sharon Osbourne said: “A few nights ago I sent Lou Lou a text asking him if he was free to meet for dinner. He replied saying he couldn’t make it because he was going to have a night in watching Belle Amie videos.

“Although he spelt their name slightly differently.”

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