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Colonel Gaddafi hires Cheryl Cole’s PR company to improve his image

25 Feb

Colonel Gadaffi, Libya, Kerry Katona, Cheryl Cole, Seleb Spy 2011, Selebspy.com

EMBATTLED Libyan dictator Muammar Gaddafi has enlisted the PR company of British singer Cheryl Cole to improve his tarnished reputation as his regime’s grip on power weakens.

The 68-year-old has ruled the North African country with an iron fist for 42 years following a coup in 1969, however the huge protests of the last fortnight have seen all but the capital fall into the hands of opposition forces.

Seleb Spy has now learnt that Gaddafi has hired SuperDynamic, the PR company that transformed Cheryl Cole from a violent, racist chav with questionable vocal abilities into a national treasure and pop superstar with questionable vocal abilities.

Andrew Clark, entertainment editor of the Financial Times, said that SuperDynamic was widely regarded as one of the best PR companies in the world, capable of turning around the careers of even the most loathed figures.

“I mean, just a few years ago who would have imagined that Alan and Maxine Carr’s Celebrity Chinwag would become the most watched show on British television?” he added.

Earlier this week Colonel Gaddafi sought to ingratiate himself with Libya’s youth by making a bizarre Lady Gaga-inspired television appearance from the back of a car, holding an umbrella and wearing a hat with ear-flaps.

He said: “The protesters are rats! All my Little Monsters, you are so beautiful, you should grab any heavy object you can find and go out onto the streets and smash those fucking protesters’ heads in until their limp bodies are twitching on the ground.

“Paws up!”

SuperDynamic founder and PR guru Sally Anderson told Seleb Spy: “Colonel Gaddafi – or Colonel G Man as he would now prefer to be known – knows that he has made some mistakes.

“Like the Lockerbie bombing and ordering the army to launch air attacks on his own country’s civilian population.

“But who hasn’t done that? He’s only human after all, we all make mistakes sometimes.”

It is expected that the eccentric despot will make a series of high-profile public appearances at events around the world in the coming days, including the Oscars, and also do several magazine features.

Rumours are also circulating that Gaddafi is set to pip Cheryl Cole to the post and take one of the coveted seats on the American X Factor judging panel this autumn.

Anderson said: “Colonel G Man would be ideal for the US X Factor role. He would bring constructive criticism, the wisdom of age and botoxed glamour to the table. He’s like Simon Cowell, Louis Walsh and Dannii Minogue all rolled into one.

“Also, Colonel G Man is a Bedouin – a nomadic people who traditionally live in tents. So we’re going to try to get him on the next series of My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding as well.”

SuperDynamic were not concerned about signing up such a controversial figure and were delighted that the troubled leader chose to approach them, she said.

“Colonel Gaddafi may be a tyrannical dictator who has been accused of killing and torturing thousands, and of having amassed a huge multi-billion dollar fortune while the majority of his country lived in abject poverty.

“But he has never been accused of racially abusing a nightclub toilet attendant just because she wouldn’t give him a Chupa Chup.”

The company has nevertheless been heavily criticised for associating with Gaddafi, whom the international community are threatening to charge with war crimes for his bloody crack-down on the Libyan protests, and his dreadful dress sense.

British prime minister David Cameron said this morning: “I think it is appalling that SuperDynamic PR would choose to work with such a morally bankrupt and despicable person, who has caused such unimaginable suffering.

“I mean, did you see that poor toilet attendant’s black eye?”

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