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Colonel Gaddafi hires Cheryl Cole’s PR company to improve his image

25 Feb

Colonel Gadaffi, Libya, Kerry Katona, Cheryl Cole, Seleb Spy 2011,

EMBATTLED Libyan dictator Muammar Gaddafi has enlisted the PR company of British singer Cheryl Cole to improve his tarnished reputation as his regime’s grip on power weakens.

The 68-year-old has ruled the North African country with an iron fist for 42 years following a coup in 1969, however the huge protests of the last fortnight have seen all but the capital fall into the hands of opposition forces.

Seleb Spy has now learnt that Gaddafi has hired SuperDynamic, the PR company that transformed Cheryl Cole from a violent, racist chav with questionable vocal abilities into a national treasure and pop superstar with questionable vocal abilities.

Andrew Clark, entertainment editor of the Financial Times, said that SuperDynamic was widely regarded as one of the best PR companies in the world, capable of turning around the careers of even the most loathed figures.

“I mean, just a few years ago who would have imagined that Alan and Maxine Carr’s Celebrity Chinwag would become the most watched show on British television?” he added.

Earlier this week Colonel Gaddafi sought to ingratiate himself with Libya’s youth by making a bizarre Lady Gaga-inspired television appearance from the back of a car, holding an umbrella and wearing a hat with ear-flaps.

He said: “The protesters are rats! All my Little Monsters, you are so beautiful, you should grab any heavy object you can find and go out onto the streets and smash those fucking protesters’ heads in until their limp bodies are twitching on the ground.

“Paws up!”

SuperDynamic founder and PR guru Sally Anderson told Seleb Spy: “Colonel Gaddafi – or Colonel G Man as he would now prefer to be known – knows that he has made some mistakes.

“Like the Lockerbie bombing and ordering the army to launch air attacks on his own country’s civilian population.

“But who hasn’t done that? He’s only human after all, we all make mistakes sometimes.”

It is expected that the eccentric despot will make a series of high-profile public appearances at events around the world in the coming days, including the Oscars, and also do several magazine features.

Rumours are also circulating that Gaddafi is set to pip Cheryl Cole to the post and take one of the coveted seats on the American X Factor judging panel this autumn.

Anderson said: “Colonel G Man would be ideal for the US X Factor role. He would bring constructive criticism, the wisdom of age and botoxed glamour to the table. He’s like Simon Cowell, Louis Walsh and Dannii Minogue all rolled into one.

“Also, Colonel G Man is a Bedouin – a nomadic people who traditionally live in tents. So we’re going to try to get him on the next series of My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding as well.”

SuperDynamic were not concerned about signing up such a controversial figure and were delighted that the troubled leader chose to approach them, she said.

“Colonel Gaddafi may be a tyrannical dictator who has been accused of killing and torturing thousands, and of having amassed a huge multi-billion dollar fortune while the majority of his country lived in abject poverty.

“But he has never been accused of racially abusing a nightclub toilet attendant just because she wouldn’t give him a Chupa Chup.”

The company has nevertheless been heavily criticised for associating with Gaddafi, whom the international community are threatening to charge with war crimes for his bloody crack-down on the Libyan protests, and his dreadful dress sense.

British prime minister David Cameron said this morning: “I think it is appalling that SuperDynamic PR would choose to work with such a morally bankrupt and despicable person, who has caused such unimaginable suffering.

“I mean, did you see that poor toilet attendant’s black eye?”


Marks & Spencer delighted by Rihanna’s endorsement

3 Feb
Rihanna, S&M, M&S, Marks & Spencer, Seleb Spy 2011,

SCARY GINGER SPICE - In her latest video, Rihanna dresses as all five Spice Girls at the same time.

HIGH street giant Marks & Spencer has expressed its gratitude to singer Rihanna for dedicating her new single M&S to the company.

M&S is the third single from the Barbadian singer’s platinum selling album Loud and the follow-up to her number one smash hit What’s My Name?

Marks & Spencer chairman Michael Clark said he was delighted when he heard that Rihanna had named her new song after the struggling retailer.

“It did come as a bit of a surprise. I didn’t actually know anything about it until I saw the video online, yesterday.

“But obviously I am thrilled that Rihanna has dedicated her new single to M&S – she is one of the biggest pop stars in the world at the moment.

“My seven-year-old daughter loves her song Rude Boy. She’s always singing it.

“You know, ‘Come on rude boy, boy, can you get it up, come here rude boy, boy, is you big enough? Take it, take it, baby, baby, take it, take it, love me, love me’.


The song is accompanied by a raunchy video featuring what Clark claims is Marks & Spencer’s Spring 2011 collection.

In the video, Rihanna can be seen wearing pink latex suspenders with matching latex swimming cap, among other steamy outfits.

Clark said: “I can only assume that is our new Spring 2011 collection. I don’t really follow what our designers are coming up with. But I like what I see.”

Rihanna, S&M, M&S, Marks & Spencer, Latex, Seleb Spy 2011,

Available in M&S Stores across Britain from April. Dry clean only.

In recent years, Marks & Spencer has sought to shed its old-fashioned, frumpy image and appeal to the more sophisticated younger woman.

Its successful advertising campaign featuring a string of well-known celebrities has seen the chain’s profits soar.

However Clark claims it is still difficult for his company to contend with more fashionable high street clothing giants such as H&M and Topman.

“Up until now, in our ad campaigns we’ve had to settle for Dannii Minogue, Myleene Klass, and fucking Twiggy.

“We were about to really scrape the bottom of the barrel and sign up Lulu.

“So it’s great that in Rihanna we actually have a celebrity on board who doesn’t need to be wadded with Tena Lady before each photo shoot to stop them going off like a pierced beer keg.”

Clark insists that Marks & Spencer did not pay Rihanna for the endorsement and that it was entirely the singer’s decision to devote the song to the company.

He said: “Honestly, I knew nothing about it until I saw the video online and noticed the song was called M&S.

“Wait, it’s called what? Oh shit.”

EXCLUSIVE VIDEO: Cheryl Cole video game unveiled

30 Jan

SELEB SPY exclusively brings you the first footage of the long-awaited video game Super Cheryl World for the Nintendo Wii.

In the game, produced by Newcastle based developers TyneSoft, players guide national treasure Cheryl Cole through the North East of England on her journey to rescue Geordie legend Paul Gascoigne who has been wrongly imprisoned in a mental asylum.

Geoffrey Clark from TyneSoft told Seleb Spy: “As the leading software developers in the North East, we really wanted to create a truly local game, capturing the Geordie spirit.

“Our first idea was a first-person shooter featuring Ant and Dec.

“Imagine Call of Duty, but instead of it being the Americans versus the Russians,  it is supporters of Newcastle FC against supporters of Sunderland.

“And rather than battling in a top-secret Russian nuclear facility, all the action takes place in a run-down pub in South Shields.

“And instead of using super powerful weapons like an AK47, the characters use broken bottles and their bare fists.”

TyneSoft ultimately decided that Ant & Dec’s Football Pub Brawl was too similar to Call of Duty and did not want to risk being sued for copyright infringement, so instead chose to develop  a Cheryl Cole based video game.

Clark said: “Cheryl Cole really is a brilliant ambassador for Newcastle as she truly represents what it is to be a Geordie lass.

“She is beautiful, independent, tenacious and strong-willed.

“And has a tendency to become extremely violent when drunk.”

Super Cheryl World has been developed using the most powerful design software available in the county of Tyne & Wear and, as this exclusive footage demonstrates, really pushes the Nintendo Wii’s graphical capabilities to the limit.

TyneSoft had hoped the game would appeal to the whole family, however were left disappointed after the British Board of Film Classifications issued Super Cheryl World with an 18 certificate.

Sally Anderson from the BBFC said: “We understand that Cheryl Cole is loved by everyone, young and old, so the game will appeal to players of all ages.

“However the amount of racist language and racially aggravated violence in the game means we have had no choice but to prohibit its sale to children.

“The ‘Louis Walsh’s dressing room’ level is particularly shocking.

“I’ve never seen fisting in a computer game before.”

Super Cheryl World is available to buy from 1st May.

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