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EXCLUSIVE VIDEO: Cheryl Cole video game unveiled

30 Jan

SELEB SPY exclusively brings you the first footage of the long-awaited video game Super Cheryl World for the Nintendo Wii.

In the game, produced by Newcastle based developers TyneSoft, players guide national treasure Cheryl Cole through the North East of England on her journey to rescue Geordie legend Paul Gascoigne who has been wrongly imprisoned in a mental asylum.

Geoffrey Clark from TyneSoft told Seleb Spy: “As the leading software developers in the North East, we really wanted to create a truly local game, capturing the Geordie spirit.

“Our first idea was a first-person shooter featuring Ant and Dec.

“Imagine Call of Duty, but instead of it being the Americans versus the Russians,  it is supporters of Newcastle FC against supporters of Sunderland.

“And rather than battling in a top-secret Russian nuclear facility, all the action takes place in a run-down pub in South Shields.

“And instead of using super powerful weapons like an AK47, the characters use broken bottles and their bare fists.”

TyneSoft ultimately decided that Ant & Dec’s Football Pub Brawl was too similar to Call of Duty and did not want to risk being sued for copyright infringement, so instead chose to develop  a Cheryl Cole based video game.

Clark said: “Cheryl Cole really is a brilliant ambassador for Newcastle as she truly represents what it is to be a Geordie lass.

“She is beautiful, independent, tenacious and strong-willed.

“And has a tendency to become extremely violent when drunk.”

Super Cheryl World has been developed using the most powerful design software available in the county of Tyne & Wear and, as this exclusive footage demonstrates, really pushes the Nintendo Wii’s graphical capabilities to the limit.

TyneSoft had hoped the game would appeal to the whole family, however were left disappointed after the British Board of Film Classifications issued Super Cheryl World with an 18 certificate.

Sally Anderson from the BBFC said: “We understand that Cheryl Cole is loved by everyone, young and old, so the game will appeal to players of all ages.

“However the amount of racist language and racially aggravated violence in the game means we have had no choice but to prohibit its sale to children.

“The ‘Louis Walsh’s dressing room’ level is particularly shocking.

“I’ve never seen fisting in a computer game before.”

Super Cheryl World is available to buy from 1st May.

Government trying to find way to deport Katie Waissel

7 Oct

 

Katie Waissel X Factor

Katie Waissel's unique Gwen Stefani circa 2004 style

 

THE HOME OFFICE is desperately trying to find the legal grounds to deport Katie Waissel from Britain, SelebSpy has learnt.

Officials are searching for any legal loophole that would allow them to revoke the unbearable X Factor contestant’s British citizenship and deport her from the country.

Britain was shocked on Saturday when X Factor judge and national treasure Cheryl Cole, selected Waissel, 24, as one of her three acts for the live finals. The posh bint from London, who has repeatedly forgotten song lyrics and the fact she already has a record contract, was chosen by Cole along with single mother Rebecca Ferguson and recovering crystal meth addict Cher Lloyd.

The shock axing of popular contestant Gamu Nhengu as a result of her immigration status has given government officials the idea that they could get rid of Waissel in the same manner. The fact that Waissel is a British citizen with British-born parents has not deterred the Home Office from pursuing the case.

A spokesman from the UK Border Agency said: “There are two things that fill the British public with dread: the first is being caught up in a terrorist attack, the second is enduring Katie Waissel wailing away on their TV screens every Saturday night wearing some ridiculous ‘vintage’ clothing she’s bought from the Sue Ryder Care charity shop in Muswell Hill.

A Home Office spokesman said: “We are constantly reviewing immigration policy to ensure that those who pose a threat to our society do not have the right to stay in Britain, and where necessary, are deported to their country of origin. Obviously, in this case Miss Waissel’s country of origin is Britain, which does cause a bit of a problem, but we are exploring all avenues.

“I hear she’s a Jew so we could just say she’s an undercover Mossad agent and deport her to Israel. That would probably work.”

X Factor viewers have inundated Internet forums and social networking sites with angry comments claiming that, although perfect in all other respects, national treasure Cheryl Cole has made a grave mistake in selecting Waissel for the live finals of the show.

Sharon Anderson, a dinner lady from Hull wrote on The Daily News forums: “I normally despise immigrants, especially black ones, but Gamu sings really good and doesn’t look like she’s going to stab me for my mobile phone. Why don’t they deport that awful pointy-chinned Katie Waissel instead? She’s a right knob.”

One other line of enquiry being pursued by the Home Office is imprisoning Waissel under anti-terrorism laws for the duration of the X Factor live finals.

A Home Office spokesman said: “The definition of a ‘terrorist’ is ‘someone who causes terror and panic in others’, and the thought of seeing Katie Waissel sing Fly Me to the Moon during Big Band week on the X Factor fills me with utter terror. Therefore, you could say that Katie Waissel is a terrorist. And therefore should be deported.

“Or executed.”

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