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Jack Straw: Young white girls ‘easy meat’ for TV talent show producers

12 Jan
Cher Lloyd, X Factor 2010, Seleb Spy 2011

Cry me a river - Jack Straw has accused Simon Cowell of exploiting young white girls like Cher Lloyd (above).

FORMER home secretary Jack Straw has sparked outrage by saying that producers of television talent shows see white girls as easy meat for exploitation.

The Blackburn MP was speaking after vulnerable X Factor contestant Cher Lloyd had a mental breakdown and threw her own excrement at the audience at a recent performance in Hull, following months of mental abuse at the hands of Simon Cowell.

He said there was a “specific problem” where middle-aged, high waist-banded men who run TV talent shows “target vulnerable white girls” to make bucket loads of cash for themselves.

He said: “Because they’re vulnerable they ply them with compliments and say they are ‘relevant’ and ‘current’ and ‘right up my street’, they give them nice clothes, and introduce them to shoddy American rappers, and then of course they’re trapped.

“The next thing these girls know, they are being degraded in the most unspeakable ways.

“Like having their vocal abilities judged by Cheryl Cole and Dannii Minogue on prime time TV on a weekly basis.”

But Ralph Marcus of the Television Producers Union said it was not a problem specific to the industry and it was wrong to stereotype a whole profession.

He said: “I would go as far as to say that exploitation of young women is not a problem in television in general.

“Rather the opposite, it acts as a means for girls to empower themselves.

“For example, the new programme I am currently producing for BBC 3, Teen Mum Island, which sees ten young single mothers going back to basics on an uninhabited Pacific island, spending the whole time in bikinis, with the sun reflecting off their silky smooth skin as they cavort around on the beach splashing each other with water, is very empowering.

“Did I mention that it’s hosted by Fearne Cotton?”

ITV, which produces the X Factor, rejected the politician’s claims, branding them “ridiculous”.

A spokesperson said: “We exploit all young people equally, regardless of gender, race, and sexual orientation.

Meanwhile Straw’s remarks were welcomed, today, by the British National Party, outspoken critics of the mainstream media.

BNP spokesperson Mohammed Saddiq told Seleb Spy: “Mr Straw has simply repeated what we have been saying for years: These television producers come over here and take our jobs and exploit our daughters.

“They should go back to where they came from.

“Or something.”

Simon Cowell, who was singled out by Straw for criticism, dismissed the accusations as “rubbish, potentially”.

He said: “I absolutely do not exploit young white girls.

“Do you like my new car, by the way? It has zero carbon emissions.

“It’s powered by Katie Waissel’s tears.”


Simon Cowell took advice on vote rigging from Russian Government

7 Dec
Vladimir Putin, Cher Lloyd, X Factor 2010 Seleb Spy

Some of the suggestions the Russians came up with to sway the results were deemed to be too extreme.

SIMON Cowell sought advice from the Russian government on vote rigging, according to the latest batch of leaked memos from whistle-blowing website Wikileaks.

The X Factor supremo is reported to have contacted officials at Russia’s Central Electoral Commission for advice on how to rig a vote in the most blatantly obvious way.

The allegations come following the elimination of morbidly obese X Factor contestant Mary Byrne at the hands of the show’s judging panel, despite viewers previously being told by host Dermot O’Leary that the result would be decided purely by public vote.

Irate viewers complained that the sing-off and judges’ vote were introduced at the last-minute to save recovering crystal meth addict Cher Lloyd from being axed.

Sergey Semenov from the Central Electoral Commission confirmed that he had been approached by individuals from ITV for consultancy on electoral fraud, as the Russians are world-leaders in the field.

He said: “We suggested several techniques ITV could use in the context of a reality television show to manipulate the results in a way that is blatantly obvious to viewers, but not quite blatant enough to result in censure from media regulators.

“We don’t have media regulators in Russia. In post-Soviet Russia, media regulates you.”

The alleged manipulations on the X Factor include: ensuring that Cowell’s favoured contestants dominate media coverage, are given the coveted end slot in the performance running order, and are given the best song choices even if they don’t conform to the week’s theme.

And are also allowed to mime to pre-recorded backing vocals through most of their performances while the rest of the contestants have to sing live.

However, some of the Russians’ suggestions – such as incarcerating opponents on trumped-up charges, or eliminating them – were deemed by Cowell to be too extreme, even by his standards.

“We told Cowell where he can get some polonium at an excellent price.” Semenov added.

The leaked communications include a series of emails sent between Simon Cowell and the X Factor production team.

In an email sent in August, Cowell writes: “Secretly manipulating the results as we have in previous series is potentially just not enough anymore.

“This year I want to make our utter contempt for the viewers at home crystal clear.”

The emails also reveal that after the roaring success of this year’s manipulations, Cowell is already in talks with ITV and the Russians on how they can develop the blatant result rigging in the coming series.

“I’m thinking next year Dermot will have an envelope with the results of the public vote, and instead of reading it out, will rip it up and throw the pieces in the air,” Cowell writes.

“And then I will personally eliminate a contestant of my choice by pulling a giant lever that releases a trap door beneath their feet.

“Then we will show a VT of me exchanging bags of the viewers’ phone vote cash for an obscene amount of cocaine that I then proceed to snort off the bare arse of Katie Waissel’s prostitute grandmother.

“Just so they can see where their money really goes.”

There are also allegations abound that viewers have been intimidated into voting for certain contestants.

74 year-old retired schoolteacher Miriam Salter from Surrey said: “I received a telephone call on Saturday night from a very abusive young lady shouting: ‘Oi bitch, you better vote for Cher Lloyd tonight, yeh, or I’ll set your fucking house on fire.’

“I’m not very good at placing accents, but it sounded like the voice of a 17 year-old girl native to the Malvern area, if I’m not mistaken.”

Katie Waissel to sing new version of Candle in the Wind on tonight’s X Factor

13 Nov

Katie Waissel, X Factor, Seleb Spy 2010KATIE WAISSEL will sing an updated version of Candle in the Wind, tonight, on what is expected to be the embattled singer’s last X Factor live show.

Last weekend, Waissel, 24, was in the bottom two for the third time, but was controversially spared the chop, following judge Cheryl Cole’s refusal to choose between the north London singer or her other act Treyk Cohen.

Tonight, contestants will be performing songs by celebrated angry homosexual Elton John.

Upon learning of the theme, Waissel is reported to have immediately jumped at the chance to sing the classic Candle in the Wind, one of the best selling singles of all time.

“Katie knows her days on the show are numbered and thinks Candle in the Wind will be the perfect swan song for her,” an insider at ITV told Seleb Spy.

“She knows what a sad and difficult time it will be for viewers to see her leave the show. It will be on par with the death of Princess Di, so she wanted to sing an appropriately poignant song. ”

Our source also revealed that the lyrics of the song, originally about Marilyn Monroe and later rededicated to the late Princess Diana in 1997, have been updated once again – this time by Waissel herself.

The song, retitled Candle in the Wind Machine, will open with the new lyrics :

“Goodbye X Factor’s rose
May I ever grow in your hearts”

And continue with the updated chorus:

“And it seems to you that I’ve lived my life
Like a candle in the wind machine
Never fading with the sunset
When the rain set in
And my footsteps will always fall here
On X Factor’s greatest stage
My candle’s burned out long before
My legend ever will”

Speaking exclusively to Seleb Spy, Waissel said: “I really identify with both Marilyn Monroe and Princess Diana and see a lot of their qualities in myself.

“I understand what it’s like to be hounded by the media and also…. erm… we’re all blonde, and…… you know, we all have vaginas.

“And make sure you fucking vote for me this week. My dirty protest threat still stands.”

Details of the staging of Waissel’s performance have also leaked. There will be a staged funeral with inconsolable mourners gathered round an open casket. At the beginning of the performance Waissel will emerge from the casket wearing a replica of Princess Diana’s wedding dress.

X Factor supremo Simon Cowell said: “Many people are potentially saying that Katie doesn’t deserve to be on the show and that potentially the show is rigged to keep in her in the running.

“That is potentially total rubbish; Katie is still in the competition as she potentially has real star quality and is a potentially interesting performer.

“Having said that, she gives wonderful blowjobs. No gag reflex.”

Katie Waissel threatens dirty protest live on air if public don’t vote for her

9 Nov
Katie Waissel

Katie Waissel on Sunday's results show.

X FACTOR contestant Katie Waissel has threatened to stage a dirty protest live on air if she is in the bottom two during next Sunday’s results show.

Last Sunday, an emotional Waissel was one of the two contestants who received the fewest public votes – her third time in the series – pushing the already fragile singer closer to the edge of a wonderfully theatrical mental breakdown.

During her ‘survival’ performance of Solomon Burke’s Don’t Give up on Me, having forgotten the words to a couple of lines of the song, the 24 year-old singer said “You know what, sod it!” and sat down on the stage cross-legged like a sulking child.

However in scenes that prompted furious fans to flood the Internet with complaints, it was call centre worker Treyk Cohen who the judges chose to send home, after mentor Cheryl Cole declined to vote, saying: “Ahm not fookin votin for either of me lasses. Ahm not sendin neither of them home, man.”

Host Dermot O’Leary prompted Cole to choose a contestant but she further dug her Jimmy Choo heels in, snapping back: “Then let these two bastards vote first and ah’ll take it to fookin deadlock, man!”

Seleb Spy has learnt from sources inside the X Factor house that Waissel is now so angry with the public for not allowing her to fulfil her destiny to become a star, that she has threatened to stage a dirty protest live on air if she is the bottom two again next Sunday – defecating on the stage and smearing her excrement on the judges’ desk while singing Milkshake by Kelis.

X Factor supremo Simon Cowell refused to confirm whether there was any truth behind the rumour, saying only: “Seeing Katie shit on stage would potentially be the most disgusting thing I have ever seen.

“But having said that, it’d be no less disgusting than seeing Mary’s bingo wings flapping about every week.”

Paul the psychic octopus dies while being subjected to X Factor performances

27 Oct
Paul the psychic Octopus

Paul the psychic octopus moments before his death

Paul the psychic Octopus has died while being forced to watch the X Factor finalists’ performances from last Saturday’s live show, Seleb Spy can exclusively reveal.

The tentacled sage gained worldwide fame after he predicted the winners of all of Germany’s World Cup matches, and then the victors in the final, by selecting one of two boxes containing the competing team’s flags.

Stefan Porwoll, the manager of the Oberhausen Sea Life Centre in Germany confirmed that the psychic cephalopod had been filming a segment for ITV2’s the Xtra Factor in which he would be played all of last Saturday’s live performances and then would predict the winner by choosing one of  twelve boxes each containing the picture of one of the X Factor contestants.

However relatively early on during the gruelling two-hour show the octopus’s keepers noticed the animal was acting erratically, in a way they had never seen before.

One of Paul’s keepers told Seleb Spy: “Paul started showing signs of distress during Belle Amie, he sprayed his ink during One Direction, defecated during Cher Lloyd, and by the time Katie Waissel had finished he was already floating at the top of his tank.”

Simon Cowell offered his condolences to Oberhausen Sea Life Centre, saying: “My thoughts are potentially with the staff at the Sea Life Centre during this difficult time. Having said that, the octopus’s death was of course in no way related to the X Factor performances.

“Wouldn’t ‘Octopus’ be a great name for a slutty eight-piece girlband on the X Factor? That’s an idea for next year.”

Paul’s body has been purchased by a local Spanish restaurant to be used in paella.

EXCLUSIVE: Katie Waissel Nude Photo

16 Oct
Katie waissel Nude

XXX Factor - The nude shot of Katie Waissel

A photograph of a naked Katie Waissel has leaked onto the Internet. The X Factor contestant is instantly recognisable from her trademark blond fright wig and oddly shaped face.

Meanwhile a photo of fellow contestant Cher Lloyd getting spit-roasted by two members of 1 Direction is also rumoured to be about to hit the web.

Government trying to find way to deport Katie Waissel

7 Oct


Katie Waissel X Factor

Katie Waissel's unique Gwen Stefani circa 2004 style


THE HOME OFFICE is desperately trying to find the legal grounds to deport Katie Waissel from Britain, SelebSpy has learnt.

Officials are searching for any legal loophole that would allow them to revoke the unbearable X Factor contestant’s British citizenship and deport her from the country.

Britain was shocked on Saturday when X Factor judge and national treasure Cheryl Cole, selected Waissel, 24, as one of her three acts for the live finals. The posh bint from London, who has repeatedly forgotten song lyrics and the fact she already has a record contract, was chosen by Cole along with single mother Rebecca Ferguson and recovering crystal meth addict Cher Lloyd.

The shock axing of popular contestant Gamu Nhengu as a result of her immigration status has given government officials the idea that they could get rid of Waissel in the same manner. The fact that Waissel is a British citizen with British-born parents has not deterred the Home Office from pursuing the case.

A spokesman from the UK Border Agency said: “There are two things that fill the British public with dread: the first is being caught up in a terrorist attack, the second is enduring Katie Waissel wailing away on their TV screens every Saturday night wearing some ridiculous ‘vintage’ clothing she’s bought from the Sue Ryder Care charity shop in Muswell Hill.

A Home Office spokesman said: “We are constantly reviewing immigration policy to ensure that those who pose a threat to our society do not have the right to stay in Britain, and where necessary, are deported to their country of origin. Obviously, in this case Miss Waissel’s country of origin is Britain, which does cause a bit of a problem, but we are exploring all avenues.

“I hear she’s a Jew so we could just say she’s an undercover Mossad agent and deport her to Israel. That would probably work.”

X Factor viewers have inundated Internet forums and social networking sites with angry comments claiming that, although perfect in all other respects, national treasure Cheryl Cole has made a grave mistake in selecting Waissel for the live finals of the show.

Sharon Anderson, a dinner lady from Hull wrote on The Daily News forums: “I normally despise immigrants, especially black ones, but Gamu sings really good and doesn’t look like she’s going to stab me for my mobile phone. Why don’t they deport that awful pointy-chinned Katie Waissel instead? She’s a right knob.”

One other line of enquiry being pursued by the Home Office is imprisoning Waissel under anti-terrorism laws for the duration of the X Factor live finals.

A Home Office spokesman said: “The definition of a ‘terrorist’ is ‘someone who causes terror and panic in others’, and the thought of seeing Katie Waissel sing Fly Me to the Moon during Big Band week on the X Factor fills me with utter terror. Therefore, you could say that Katie Waissel is a terrorist. And therefore should be deported.

“Or executed.”

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