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Danyl Johnson banned from visiting the X factor house after attempting to bum One Direction

19 Nov

Security found a bottle of 'room odouriser' in Danyl Johnson's possession.

FORMER X factor contestant Danyl Johnson has been banned from visiting the X Factor house by the show’s producers over fears he is trying to sodomise One Direction.

During last year’s series, BISEXUAL Johnson, 28, was widely rumoured to be having a secret romance with fellow contestant Lloyd Daniels, 16 at the time, a claim that was confirmed by insiders on the show, although kept out of the mainstream media by Simon Cowell.

Producers have recently become increasingly concerned over Johnson’s frequent visits to the current X Factor house and now fear that the BISEXUAL singer has become bored with young Welshman Daniels and diverted his attention to the younger, sexier One Direction boys.

An insider exclusively told Seleb Spy: “He showed up one day and asked if he could come in and see the contestants. We thought he just wanted to wish them well and offer some advice.

“He spent quite some time in One Direction’s bedroom, giving them a ‘singing lesson’.

“Little Niall came out whimpering and wouldn’t say a word to anyone for days.”

Following online death threats to controversial contestants Wagner Fiuza-Carrilho and Katie Waissel, security at the X Factor house has been tightened this week, with all visitors undergoing a bag search.

Producers finally made the decision to ban further visits by Danyl Johson after finding suspicious items in the BISEXUAL’s possession during the routine search.

Security found “a small bottle of ‘room aroma’, a tube of personal lubricant, and several Trojan branded condoms.” Our spy said.

BISEXUAL Johnson was then ejected from the property. Fans outside the house who witnessed the scenes exclusively told Seleb Spy:

“Me and loads of other girls from the One Direction fan club were outside the house, our fannies frothing away at the thought of catching a glimpse of the boys, when suddenly there was a load of screaming and shouting.

“We saw these security guys dragging that poofter from last year’s show out the house and he was screaming ‘Zain! Zain! It won’t hurt, I promise!’

“I don’t really know what he meant by that.”

Another fan added: “That’s what my Grandpa used to say to me.”

ITV released a statement yesterday evening saying: “We can confirm that X Factor 2009 contestant Danyl Johnson has been banned from visiting the X Factor house. While we have no evidence that anything untoward has been going on – this year – we are taking no chances.

“We want to make sure the only parts of the One Direction boys’ bodies being stretched to breaking point are their vocal cords.

“And not their arse holes.”


Paul the psychic octopus dies while being subjected to X Factor performances

27 Oct
Paul the psychic Octopus

Paul the psychic octopus moments before his death

Paul the psychic Octopus has died while being forced to watch the X Factor finalists’ performances from last Saturday’s live show, Seleb Spy can exclusively reveal.

The tentacled sage gained worldwide fame after he predicted the winners of all of Germany’s World Cup matches, and then the victors in the final, by selecting one of two boxes containing the competing team’s flags.

Stefan Porwoll, the manager of the Oberhausen Sea Life Centre in Germany confirmed that the psychic cephalopod had been filming a segment for ITV2’s the Xtra Factor in which he would be played all of last Saturday’s live performances and then would predict the winner by choosing one of  twelve boxes each containing the picture of one of the X Factor contestants.

However relatively early on during the gruelling two-hour show the octopus’s keepers noticed the animal was acting erratically, in a way they had never seen before.

One of Paul’s keepers told Seleb Spy: “Paul started showing signs of distress during Belle Amie, he sprayed his ink during One Direction, defecated during Cher Lloyd, and by the time Katie Waissel had finished he was already floating at the top of his tank.”

Simon Cowell offered his condolences to Oberhausen Sea Life Centre, saying: “My thoughts are potentially with the staff at the Sea Life Centre during this difficult time. Having said that, the octopus’s death was of course in no way related to the X Factor performances.

“Wouldn’t ‘Octopus’ be a great name for a slutty eight-piece girlband on the X Factor? That’s an idea for next year.”

Paul’s body has been purchased by a local Spanish restaurant to be used in paella.

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