NATIONAL treasure Cheryl Cole releases her debut fitness DVD Fight Yourself Thin this Christmas.
Ladies, have you had a bit too much chocolate this Christmas? Piled on a few extra pounds already? By Boxing Day your husband will be disgusted by the sight of you, and he will be sticking it in that nice blonde piece next door by New Year’s Day.
You need Cheryl Cole’s brand new workout DVD Fight Yourself Thin.
National treasure Cheryl shows you how you can achieve the figure you’ve always dreamed of – through fighting!
Our Chezza says: “People always ask me how I stay so thin. And I tells them: fookin’ fightin’!”
Leading dietitians and doctors from around the world agree that the best calorie-burning workout is a good old-fashioned fight.
And who better to teach us how to combine fighting and weight loss than Cheryl Cole, one of the nation’s thinnest and most violent celebrities.
Cheryl added: “The lessons in fightin’ you’ll learn on me DVD can be applied to all areas of yer daily life.
“You can fight at the office, fight at the shops, fight at home, fight in a Guildford nightclub’s toilets over a lollipop.
“Did you know that in ten minutes of fighting you burn more calories than an hour of jogging?
“You don’t fookin’ believe me? Well I’ll fookin’ smash yer lights out man!”
But don’t just take Cheryl’s word for it – even if she threatens to cave your face in with an iron bar – read these amazing testimonials from real women like you who have fought themselves thin.
Rotund housewife Valerie Ferracci from Manchester said: “When me boyfriend comes home from the pub stinking of ale, I used to just shout at him and call him a useless piss-head.
“Now, after watching Cheryl’s DVD, whenever the bastard annoys me in the slightest, I batter the shit out of him.
“And I lose weight at the same time! It’s great!”
So don’t delay, ladies, order Cheryl Cole’s Fight Yourself Thin today and get fighting! The first thousand customers will receive a free broken bottle.
You’ve got to fight, fight, fight, fight, fight yourself thin. Because being thin is worth fighting for.